How to get rid of habit of abusing when alone?
- Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wabarakatuhu. I hope you are fine by the grace of Allah. May Allah bless you for this work of answering questions in the matter of Deen. My problem is i use abusive languages many times when I am alone it automatically happens with me then suddenly I say “Astagfirullah” multiple times such that I could be forgiven by Allah (SWT) i don’t like this habit of sudden abusing because Rasulallah(SAW) said that the person is a faasiq who abuses. Please advice me
and give me tips to get rid of this vulgar habit.
Hāmidan Wamuswalliyan
Al Jawāb Bi’ounillāh Wa’Alayhi at Tuklān.
The behavior of the Prophet (Sallallāhu alayhi Wasallam)
Anas bin Malik Radhiyallāhu anhu said:
“The Prophet (Sallallāhu alayhi Wasallam) was not one who would abuse (others) or say obscene words, or curse (others)…” (Sahih Bukhāri)
And Abdullah bin ‘Amr Radhiyallāhu anhumā) said:
“The Prophet (Sallallāhu alayhi Wasallam) never used bad language neither a ‘Faahish nor a Mutafaahish. He used to say ‘The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.’ (Sahīh Bukhāri)
And he (Sallallāhu alayhi wasallam) said:
“The believer is not a slanderer, one who curses a great deal, one who indulges in obscenity or who in engages in foul talk.” (Sunan Tirmīdhī)
Remember that by using abusive languages and swearing others, you belittling your own credibility and snatching away their respect.
Maashã Allāh it’s really formidable to know that you have realised that and you constantly making Istighfaar.
However if you have offended them, you should apologised sincerely to these people.
Way to get rid of your abusive languages, is to
1 – Limit your salvo, give yourself permission to say a certain word only a limited number of times, and keep reducing the number until you’re free from this terrible habit.
2-Take accountability- Take responsibility for your actions – cursing in this instance. Understand that it doesn’t serve you and you’re better off without this awful habit. Announce your decision to go profanity-free on your social media platforms. We tend to take ourselves more seriously when we know that others are watching us and will hold us accountable for our lapse.
3- Take on a better identity- Your repeated actions create your reputation. Understand what you’re becoming because of this foul behavior. Cursing diminishes your potential to be a better muslim. Your choice of words has a bigger impact than you think. You may be perceived as an abusive, sexist person because of the way you talk. People may lose respect for you because of your lack of self-control. Every time you have an urge to curse, remind yourself of how it’s going to affect your character.
4- Find better company- “A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” [Sunan Abu Dāwūd]
We are most certainly influenced by the company we keep. It’s impossible to speak politely when you’re surrounded by people who talk harshly. You can let your friends know about your resolution if you prefer not to leave them cold turkey. Making this decision may not be easy but Allāh never leaves you in the lurch and you will certainly find better friends Insha Allāh.
Allāh Almighty knows best.
Mufti Mohammad Ashhad bin Saeed Al Mahmūdy.
Dāruliftaa Mahmoodiyyah Mauritius.
WhatsApp 230 57554717